Friday, June 22, 2012

The Psychology of Dysfunctional Families

psychology studies

As an organizing principle we can describe dysfunctional families in terms of the ABC's, where the letters in this case stand for Attachment, Boundaries and Communication. As a subheading we'll talk about the three R's, in this case, Rules, Roles, and Resulting Relationships. The ABC's of unhealthy, or dysfunctional, families include insecure attachment, poor boundaries (either enmeshment or disengagement), and closed communication. Psychologists distinguish three forms of insecure attachment.

In avoidant attachment the parents are emotionally unavailable, unresponsive, and rejecting. The children, not surprisingly, tend to avoid parents and caregivers. When they grow up, avoidantly attached children sacrifice intimacy for an exaggerated form of autonomy and display a dismissive attitude toward attachment. When you see an adult who never seems to connect in an intimate relationship, you may well be looking at the product of avoidant attachment.

In ambivalent attachment the parents are inconsistently available-sometimes distant, at other times intrusive. Children in these circumstances tend to be wary. When they grow up, ambivalently attached children give up autonomy for the sake of a dependent form of intimacy. They lack independent self-esteem and display a desperate need for others and the fear that their needs cannot be met.

Disorganized attachment is the worst of all since parents, to whom children instinctively turn for protection, act as figures of both fear and reassurance. Abusive parents fall into this category. The children seem dazed or confused. When they grow up, disorganizedly attached children have radically unstable relationships and experience a sense of being unreal or internally fragmented.

Dysfunctional families display poor boundaries. There may be boundary violations, such as a father who shares confidences with his daughter about his relationship with the mother, or an adolescent boy who becomes a quasi-spouse to his mother after the death or disappearance of the father. Physical, sexual and emotional abuse all constitute boundary violations. In these situations there is no personal privacy. Or there may be ambiguous boundaries: it's not clear, for example, whether a new step-parent is a "real" parent with authority or just the spouse of the real parent. Where the healthy family occupies the middle ground, unhealthy families fall at the extremes. In an over-attached, or enmeshed family, children have difficulty achieving autonomy. In an under-attached, or "boarding house" family, with a neglectful or absent dad and a neglected mom, children are treated as invisible, and often have difficulty trusting others. In another form of poor boundaries, known as triangulation, one family member may be used as messenger between two others as a substitute for direct communication, or two family members may align against a third. All of these boundary problems prevent a family from functioning in a healthy way.

Dysfunctional families also display poor communication. At one extreme we find no expression of emotions, either verbally or physically. At the other extreme we find an excessive display of emotions, a family in continual turmoil, its members in a constant state of anxiety. Where families deny their problems, children learn to distrust their feelings and their senses. Dysfunctional families tend to maintain an atmosphere of secrecy within the family and isolation from the outside community.

Not every dysfunctional family displays all of these characteristics, but they are the places where one looks to understand what makes a family dysfunctional.

Arthur Wenk, a psychotherapist practicing in Oakville, Ontario, combines cognitive-behavioral therapy (discovering techniques for producing immediate changes) with a psychodynamic approach that helps make changes permanent by addressing the root causes of mental health problems. Art is certified by OACCPP (the Ontario organization for psychotherapists) and EMDRIA (the EMDR International Association). Art's website, http://www.arthurwenk.com/, contains one-page summaries of recommended books on personal growth, brief explanations of common mental health issues, and lectures on parenting, the psychology of families, and the functioning of the brain.


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Thursday, June 21, 2012

History of Counselling: How Psychology Came Into Being

psychology studies

Psychology has, until recently, tended to focus on psychological and emotional problems and how to deal with these. This article identifies the key schools of thought, whose philosophies are often diametrically opposed.

Getting caught in the problem cycle

Psychology has developed as a science over many years, with many different ways of considering the thought and emotional processes that affect individuals. The field of psychology includes what has been termed 'Applied Psychology' where knowledge is used by individual practitioners such as counselors and psychologists to help people overcome problems and, 'Research Psychology' where academic psychologists focus on experiments and studies into human behaviour by testing out concepts behind psychological theories and human behaviour. These studies are then used in fields such as Counselling, Coaching, Stress Management and Mental Health.

Although some applied psychologists who work with individuals also undertake research, there are many academic psychologists who devote their whole life work to research without ever actually working directly with an individual. The field of psychology is split into many areas such as Occupational Psychology (work related issues for individuals and organizations), Educational Psychology (children and learning), and Counselling Psychology (mental health and emotional factors).

Until recently the whole world of psychology has tended to focus on the emotional and psychological difficulties experienced by individuals, groups and organizations. Research has focused on identifying a problem, working out what has gone wrong and then considering what needs to be done to put it right.

How Psychology came into being

The word "psychology" is the combination of two terms - study (ology) and soul (psyche), or mind. Back as far as 355BC the famous Greek philosopher Aristotle suggested that the heart was the mechanism for mental processes and in 387BC Plato, another Greek philosopher suggested that it was the brain and not the heart. Without knowing it, the thoughts of these philosophers led the way for what would later become known as the Science of Psychology. Psychology attempts to identify the forces at work behind human emotions and behaviour.

As time went by many people made their own unique contributions to the growing body of knowledge about how the mind works, why people behave the way they do, what can go wrong and what can be done to put things right.

There are many 'Schools of Psychological Thought' that have developed over the years and many of these have very different ideas about why people are unhappy and become emotionally or psychological distressed and the best ways of helping such people.

The four main Schools of Thought are
Analytical Psychology
Cognitive & Behavioural Psychology
Humanistic Psychology
Transpersonal Psychology

All of the schools have gone on to develop many different types of therapies that are on offer throughout the world. However, all therapies owe their origins to one school of thought or another.

Over time all of these schools of thought have gone on to refine and develop their understanding of individuals, some have used research far more than others (as is the case for the Cognitive and Behavioural Schools) to underpin their knowledge about individuals, their behaviour and the causes of psychological difficulties and how best to address these.

And now I'd like to invite you to claim your free E-Course "How to Develop your Counselling Practice" available at http://www.counsellingpracticematters.com/

Gladeana McMahon is listed as one of the UK's Top Twenty Therapists by the Evening Standard. An innovator, Gladeana is also one of the UK founders of Cognitive Behavioural Coaching and an internationally published author with over 20 books of a popular and academic nature on coaching and counselling to her name.


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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Food for the Body or Soul? Which Do We Satisfy?

psychology studies

Thousands of experts have spent millions of dollars researching the phenomena of food related issues resulting in today's unprecedented levels of obesity. Every magazine and newspaper, repeats the same old diets in the same old way giving it the same old name of "New."

There was a time when we were mean, lean and hungry. Now we are simply mean and hungry...joke?

During my first visit to India some fourteen years ago I never met a fat Indian. Everyone I encountered looked lean and hungry. On my most recent visit the first taxi driver I conversed with asked me for advice on his obesity and diabetes. Wealthy materialism and spiritual deprivation quickly shows on the body. This is not a perspective that would be considered by the " food or eating disorder experts." Here I am not alluding to those who suffer from bulimia or anorexia, a completely different psychological disorder.

Here I speak of a psychological disorder, otherwise known as soul displacement, which at a great cost to human evolution, is being normalised.

Food nowadays is a multi - billion dollar driven phenomena whereby our appetites are manipulated by manufacturers who are oblivious to the holistic approach to human development. They need to be to make the huge profits from helping us commit suicide by killing ourselves with our manipulated desires.
Politicians who make vane attempts to stop binge drinking and who implement a health food tax in order to prevent us from becoming like the characters from the movie "Wall-E" are compounding problems with their ignorance. I am surely not the only one walking around who is secretly appalled at the state of humanity?

How many wives feed their husbands as a way to demonstrate love? These are time old strategies that ensured the propagation of the species. A comfortable satisfied body will soon succumb to a dull unadventurous and safe lifestyle. Ooh I can hear some people banging the drums of outrageous denial...

A person who feeds the soul will not give us what we want but will give us what we need. We are conditioned to need more and more of what we do not really need in order to deny the soul its true existence. Our daily duties whether we work as an economic slave or are able to live in "relative" freedom (note" relative"- we are not free if something other than ourselves can control our thoughts - think about that!) are filled with the buying, making and consumption of food. Whereas food for the soul comes from the fragrance of a Spring Hyacinth, a summer's Rose and autumn's Lavender. It comes from soul inspiring literature and music, from a deep meaningful conversation with a loved one, a smile across a crowded room, at a bus stop, the warmth of the sun after cold damp and cloudy days. All these and more feed our soul and spirit.

But do we take as much time breathing this soul food as we do gobbling down short energy producing carbs and sugar heavy substances?

Eat to live and not live to eat" is a motto well worth remembering.

Yet here is the timeless paradox to all this "alternative perspective," one of my dearest soul mates who taught me some profound spiritual lessons said to me one day

"You know Avril I like nothing better than taking you out and treating you to a great big slice of coffee and walnut of cake and seeing the delight which arises in your eyes."

"My great-great-grandchildren ask me, in dreams, 'What did you do while the planet was plundered? What did you do when the earth was unravelling? Surely you did something when the seasons started failing, as the mammals, reptiles, birds were all dying. Did you fill the streets with protest when democracy was stolen? What did you do once you knew?'"
Drew Delinger, poet

Many Articles on Experienced Spirituality, Multidimensional Reality and Personal Growth can be found on

http://www.multidimensionalreality.com/

including free E-Book upon Request


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